There’s a point I feel I haven’t clarified enough in the past and want to clarify today.  Because we’ve talked a lot about how important it is to have women in your life who are just friends and how they can help you to build a social circle and attract other women, and we’ve also talked about oftentimes it’s better not to hit on the beautiful women you meet because they probably have even better looking friends that you might like more.

But one thing I feel we may have glossed over is that when it comes to meeting a new woman, you have to decide in the beginning what she is going to be to you.

Let me explain.

What  lot of guys do who follow this advice is flip back and forth between pursuing a woman and trying to be her friend, depending on how SHE responds to him.  This is a big mistake.

In one scenario, you might try to hit on her and get repelled, so you decide to be her friend instead.  That works if you can really hold yourself off.  But for some reason, women like to string guys a long on a subconscious level.  They like to be desired, even if they never have any intention of ever sleeping with you.  And your desire for her only grows the more you realize she’s out of reach—we all want what we can’t have, right?

So every once in while, she’s going to send you a mixed signal and get your engine going again, and you’re suddenly switching over to pursuing her again.  And then she plays hard to get, and you’re back to being her friend.  You’ve completely left your behavior whenever your around her AT HER MERCY.  So this “friend” is basically controlling you.

And from the other side, guys will make friends with some beautiful women and be doing everything right, and then all of a sudden one of the woman likes him, and instead of telling themselves she’s off limits, he sleeps with her.

If it doesn’t work out, you’ve completely screwed up the value of that social circle.  You can’t just keep on going out with that crowd, gaming girls, without their being drama or some kind of awkward feelings.

So in the beginning, you absolutely HAVE TO DECIDE what she is going to mean to you.

If you just want to make friends with beautiful women and open up options for yourself, through her friends and simply from the social value you build cruising around with a group of beautiful women, then make that your plan and stick with it.

If you meet a woman in a club and she just wants to hook up and take you home—sure, go ahead and do it.  But don’t mess with yourself by going back and forth all the time.  If you lose it and can’t break rapport enough to get it sexual again, it’s okay to decide to be friends and make the most of it, BUT STICK WITH YOUR DECISION.

Keep your friends your friends and the girls you pursue on a completely different level.  What it does is put you in control of your emotions and your behavior.  Because while you want lots of women in your life, the last thing you need to be is their yo-yo.

Miss Alice says, “Having the willpower to do this is tough but I definitely think it’s worth it. In the long run I think you will thank yourself that you kept them separate. What do you think?”

Ask questions, post comments and Miss Alice will answer

We just relaunched our Bootleg Bundle program! It’s a program that focuses on how to get compliance from a girl! It’s a great video series that is only a one time purchase. If you haven’t already gotten it you’re missing out. Check it out here!

There’s a mysterious je ne sais quoi that sexy people possess. It’s a hidden attribute that isn’t quantifiable in a traditional sense, but people gauge and talk about it constantly anyway — sex appeal. It makes the world go round. Advertisers spend millions of dollars centering ad campaigns around it, stylists try to capture it aesthetically. And a lot of people lament the fact that they have no sex appeal.

But that’s changeable. Entirely. And more people are realizing it. Here are some tips to help you bring your sexy back.

Realize That It’s Not A Fixed Attribute

A lot of people sit in their basements, firing off angry screeds in their diaries about how nobody finds them sexy. You can learn sexy. But there’s no dojo that’ll coach you in the ways of the sexy leg sweep and it might take months or years of retraining yourself and breaking down walls of social programming to get there — but even the people who view themselves as the most hopeless cases need to realize you’re never hopeless; provided you’re willing to learn and change.

Dedicating more of your time to self-improvement, physically and mentally, is the only way to improve. And thankfully this isn’t an area that your entire life needs to be dedicated towards, like your job. Often times even the smallest effort, such as getting a new dress sense, can make the biggest changes.

Start Taking Better Care of Yourself

Where a lot of people advocate the old maxim that it doesn’t matter what you look like, you can still be sexy – it doesn’t hurt. Joining a gym and gaining 15 pounds of lean muscle won’t ever hurt your chances of being thought of as a sex object by the opposite sex. There are no posters being sold of sedentary men with donuts, unless it’s Homer Simpson, but there are ones sold of athletes and attractive public figures. In addition, monitoring what you eat and exercising will have a positive impact on increasing your longevity in other areas, such as your abilities in the sack. There’s no downside to taking care of yourself – other than the fact that it may change your routine slightly. We could all use a little change.

Be Fun and Playful

Teasing, breaking rapport, making jokes and the like signifies one important aspect of self – that you have a solid foundation of comfort that you’ve built off of and you don’t really need or want other people’s approval. In addition, in certain social situations, breaking rapport will introduce an element of attraction that wasn’t there prior – because you’re now actively piquing their interest and becoming a challenge. Be confident and socially intelligent to come off as unpredictable, but not destructive. Women and people in general like the element of perceived danger that comes with being unpredictable — they don’t necessarily like destructive behavior.

Have More Women In Your Life

Here’s a shocker — a lot of people who are described as sexy, aren’t. They run in social circles and maintain lifestyles that are sexy. You wonder why billionaires are able to hang out with Victoria’s Secret models? Chances are they already know a few. Corporations and record companies know about something called the mere exposure effect – if you have some women chase you, you’re going to have other women chasing you. So have women in your life. Go out with friends who are girls if need-be, they will introduce you to other women. Who will realize you know other women. See? It’s win-win.

Get More Informed About Sex

If you’re a person who’s not having a lot of sex, it may be difficult to learn more about it. It’s an elusive subject. But one thing you can do is read about different sexual techniques, erogenous zones in the human body and what people generally like. You don’t need to be an expert in the Kama Sutra – but familiarize yourself with the basics. So when you do get a girl alone, you won’t put a paper bag over your head and hyper ventilating. Because you’ll be prepared.

Miss Alice says, “Adam is right on the dot with this! Can you think of anything else to add?”

Ask questions, post comments and Miss Alice will answer

We just relaunched our Bootleg Bundle program! It’s a program that focuses on how to get compliance from a girl! It’s a great video series that is only a one time purchase. If you haven’t already gotten it you’re missing out. Check it out here!

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In this Vlog video, you see the kid in me come out while I interview and patrol with the one and only Phoenix Jones and the Rain City Superhero Movement in Seattle.

Check out the video to see what the three things to have to be a superhero, simple things you can do to diffuse a fight and more!

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If you’re not having the success you’ve hoped to have up to this point, your problem could very well be that you’ve been focusing too much on women and not enough on yourself.  As I always say, the real secret to becoming better with women is becoming a better person, and for those who just don’t get it, this is the hardest thing to ever realize.

They don’t want to put a bunch of effort into self improvement; they want results now.  I’d break out the same old cliche about the magic bullet, but I think you get the point.

And I can understand where guys like this are coming from…

I mean, some of you have spent years sitting at home wishing you had some woman lying there beside you, and the last thing you want to do is spend more lonely nights alone as you work towards being something better than you are right now.

But I cannot over-stress how integral this is in making you the kind of man that women are attracted to.

Consider this for a second–what kind of women do you want in your life?

Actually, I really want you to get involved today.  Don’t just think about this. Get up right now and go grab a notepad; I want you to write this down.  I really want this to sink in.

Now, write about the kind of woman (or women) you want in your life.

What does she look like?  What does she do with her time?  What are her values, if she has any at all?  It’s your life, so it really is completely up to you.

I’m talking about the ideal girl–not the one you take home from the bar on a whim because nothing better presents itself.  Because believe me, if you can get your ideal woman, those other girls will still be there when you want them.

Now that you’ve written about the ideal woman, I want you to dig in a little further.  Write about what kind of man this ideal woman would be attracted to. Don’t even put yourself into the picture yet.  Just write about the imaginary guy, the one that would stop her in her tracks.  The one that would be irresistible to her.

And don’t just jump to cliches about tall, dark, and handsome and lots of money, etc.  You’ve surely learned enough so far to know that those absolutes are a bit of a myth.

Be specific.  Write everything you can about this guy.  What does he do with his time?  How does he present himself?  How does he behave around women?  Does he have certain kinds of hobbies and habits?  Write everything you can think of about him…

What kind of financial success and responsibility does he have–because even if that’s not THE DEFINING FACTOR, a certain level of responsibility and financial security is important?

Now, it’s time to bring yourself into the picture–this is where it might get tough, but this is the eye-opening part.

Do you have ANYTHING in common with that guy?

Think about that for a second–and write another list about all those things about you that are not congruent with this guy.

Because if you don’t have ANYTHING in common with HIM, I’ll tell you right now that’s probably the number one reason you’re not attracting the RIGHT KIND of women to your life–the kind of women that YOU want.  Or maybe it’s even the reason that you don’t attract any women at all.

For instance, maybe the guy is not an Adonis but he nevertheless is cut and keeps his body in shape…

And maybe you don’t even work out at all…This is purely hypothetical here, so please don’t think I’m harping on you.

Or maybe this guy dresses like he’s out of GQ…

…And you still wear jeans and a T-shirt, even when you’re out on the town…

Maybe he drinks a little wine and maybe a few cocktails when he goes out to socialize…

And you get slobbering drunk every time you go out, which is a lot….

Maybe he has hobbies that occupy his time and make his life fulfilling and interesting…

…And all you do is work, drink, and look for “the one.”

Once again, all hypothetical, but I think the point is clear.

If you’re not living the life of that ideal guy–that guy your ideal girl would fall in love with–you’re NEVER going to have that kind of woman in your bed. At least not consistently.

So keep a hold on that pen and write a list of the things you need to do to your life to make it congruent with that ideal man.  Take a good hard look at your life and start implementing the types of changes that are going to make you the person you want to be.  Because when it really comes down to it, that’s exactly who that guy is.

He’s you.

He’s the ultimate you–the one you always wanted to be.  And I can confidently say without a doubt in my mind that almost everything on that list of yours about what makes you different than that guy is something within your power to change…

If you have the INNER POWER to change…

It’s now or never, guys…

Miss Alice says, “Just like everything else in life, work, friends, hobbies, etc. You have to always work on yourself to get better results from anything. Start today!”

Ask questions, post comments and Miss Alice will answer

We just relaunched our Bootleg Bundle program! It’s a program that focuses on how to get compliance from a girl! It’s a great video series that is only a one time purchase. If you haven’t already gotten it you’re missing out. Check it out here!

One thing you may have noticed if you exist on the fringe of the “pick-up artist culture” for a little while is that so much of the men’s dating material out there focuses more on mastering seduction than mastering relationships. And this is an area where so many men drop the ball even after they figure out pickup. They go from geek to sheik, casting off their awkward social presence to become the kind of guy who picks up beautiful women whenever they feel like it…and yet, you can count on one hand the number of men who master the art of successful relationships.

Knowing how to build lasting relationships is a whole level above getting women to sleep with you. And no matter how you try to shrug it off and act like you’re just not that type of guy, we all sooner or later settle into something more lasting with one of the women we date. It might not always last, but in most cases, being honest with ourselves means admitting that we wish we knew how to change that.

So, today let’s go over ten tips for mastering the art of relationships.

1. Maintain Independence

The number one thing both men and women do wrong when getting shacked up is let go of their independence completely—it’s the classic case of “throwing the baby out with the bathwater.” When we first develop feelings for someone, we naturally want to be with them all the time, but in the heat of the moment we drop our lives for them.

In the end, this not only destroys our relationships but takes away from our personal growth. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry said it best: “Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.”

No matter where life takes you, keep your personal space sacred. Set aside time alone without your girlfriend or wife, and hold on to your own interests. It will all be invaluable when the newness of your relationship wears off or the relationship ends altogether and you find yourself alone.

2. Keep Your Friends

Much like holding on to your independence, you need to hold on to your male friends. You probably find yourself changing as you settle down, and in some ways that’s a good thing. But even if you don’t believe in everything your buddies say and do anymore, you should never ditch them completely for your lover.

Other men keep you grounded. Get out and do guy things every once in a while, and insist that she understand you need that time. And remember that her time with the girls is just as important.

3. Never Stop Improving

Never assume that because you are in a relationship you can stop improving yourself, or even worse, let yourself go. How would you feel if you settled down with some beautiful, motivated woman only to watch her let her body go and trade her goals to sit on the couch every night and sip beer?

A constant focus on improving yourself keeps life interesting and keeps your partner intrigued by a man she can respect.

Not to mention that if you continue sharpening your “edge,” you maintain that confidence that you can attract other women if things don’t work out. Don’t rub it in her face, but if it’s the truth, you both know it and you hold onto a power in the relationship that the majority of American men don’t have.

4. Learn How to Please

While some men go overboard to please women they are not yet with, a lot of guys who have great women neglect to make them feel special and wanted. This inevitably eats away at the relationship.

Women are usually more nurturing than men, and as long as they still feel good about the relationship, they’ll always go the extra mile to make us feel good. Returning the favor intensifies this effort.

Go out of your way to make her comfortable and happy—in everyday life and in bed, pleasing her not only makes her feel great but will invigorate your relationship.

5. Know When to Stand Your Ground

You also need to have your boundaries and know when to stand your ground. Too many men these days—ironically often the same men who have forgotten how to please women—do nothing when a woman tramples on their boundaries. It’s a given that when either partner in a relationship gives all control up completely the other will eventually take and take and take.

It’s just human nature.

Be a man when its time to be a man instead of giving into everything and making pathetic excuses that “the wife said so.”

6. Know When to Give In

Standing your ground is vital, but that doesn’t mean that you need to be a stubborn alpha prick to make your relationship work. Sometimes you need to compromise—its cliché because it is so true.

Learn how to step back from your arguments and consider them from a different point of view, and if you realize even after a couple days of arguing that you were, after all, the one that was wrong, don’t be too ashamed to admit that. She will respect you all the more for your flexibility.

7. Give Compliments

You’ll see those guys who have achieved “pickup mastery” do this all the time. One of the first things aspiring Casanovas learn is that giving compliments is no way to get beautiful chicks to talk with them.

But then these guys use the same tactic in relationships, thinking that if they flatter their woman at all they’ll lose interest. Even worse, some refuse to give compliments in front of their other PUA buddies because they don’t want to look like a wuss…

Listen, as long as you’re not sucking up to your woman, a sincere compliment does nothing but good. One of the great secrets of human interaction is learning to give compliments out of the blue when they are deserved—try this even with your friends and see how far it really does go.

And a man who is afraid to tell his girlfriend or wife that she’s beautiful because he doesn’t want to look like a “wuss” is really fooling himself if he actually thinks he’s in charge of his own world—he’s not even in charge of himself.

8. Express Displeasure

Before you start coating every sentence in sugar, honesty is a complex tool and you should not be afraid to express yourself when something is bothering you either. Women are much better than this than we are, but us men, wanting to keep the peace, typically keep every little thing to ourselves.

Holding your tongue makes sense sometimes, but if something is bothersome enough to affect your personal comfort or the relationship over all, than by all means bring it up. Harmony is important; false harmony only deteriorates your relationship.

9. Stay Romantic

It might have skipped your attention at some point in your life, especially if all of your relationships have failed, but women typically want a little more romance in their lives—and there is nothing wrong with giving it to them. Romance will charge your relationship and keep it fresh. It makes her feel good, and a woman who feels good in her relationship will go above and beyond to pour herself into that relationship.

Too many guys who are unhappy with their love-life aren’t doing much to keep the relationship alive—they want the sex without the “touchy-feely stuff.” Here’s a little secret—great romance leads to great sex.

Taking your lover out to a romantic dinner, renting a hot tub room overlooking ocean cliffs, or giving her a sensual massage with no intentions of anything else happening will almost always make something else happening a certainty. If your sex life is lacking, romance will always spark it back up.

10. Never Settle

Do you want to know what most men do wrong in relationships these days? They settle for less because they either don’t want to put in the effort or don’t think they can get anything better.

Men who settle eventually end up ruining their relationships, always wondering if they made a mistake and as a consequence never giving it their all. And these same men typically don’t have enough desire or belief in themselves to start over from scratch.

Settling for less is not only bad for you but it’s not right for the person you are with—why should she waste her time with someone who has one foot in and one foot out? She can either feel it or you will end up sabotaging the whole thing because you feel somehow incomplete (and the worst part is a relationship can be sabotaged without ever actually ending).

If you take anything from this article, this should be the takeaway—whether single or in a relationship, always maintain high standards for yourself and for those around you. Mastering relationships is about deciding you can not only learn to “play” human interaction but that you can be a man and create the life you want—believe it or not, most men secretly want a stable woman.

So focus on being the ultimate man that you can, show your partner that you love her, and never settle for less than your ultimate life.

Miss Alice says, “These tips are great and they are a little vague. Do you guys know of any specific examples you have done that really sparked your relationships?”

Ask questions, post comments and Miss Alice will answer

We just relaunched our Bootleg Bundle program! It’s a program that focuses on how to get compliance from a girl! It’s a great video series that is only a one time purchase. If you haven’t already gotten it you’re missing out. Check it out here!