Can A Player Be Chivalrous?
Remember before you found out that there was sort of a whole underworld of guys online learning about how to pickup women… back when you were an AFC who had no idea what the hell to do to get results?
Remember how you used to act around women… catering to their every move, supplicating everything they said, and jumping to attention whenever possible?
You’ve probably come to realize that this sucking up gets you nowhere, and being the kind of guy that women like takes being a bit of a ball-buster. But that’s not entirely right either. What you need to realize about being a ball-buster is that you still need to be a gentleman. In fact, let’s just call it the cocky gentleman persona.
Exactly what do I mean by this?
I saying that just because we’re moving beyond this limited mindset that so many men have towards women — mindset where they’ll do anything to get a woman to speak to them or spend time with them — doesn’t mean you should lose your manners. In fact, being a smart-ass guy while also taking the time to pull out chairs and open doors really creates an intoxicating effect for women.
Do I need to remind you about the word “balance?”
EVERYTHING in game — or everything in the real world, I should say — is about balance. While that means you aren’t chasing her around and catering to her every whim, you aren’t beyond treating her like a lady either.
I think old fashioned manners like opening doors for women, giving them your coat when they’re cold, and escorting them home still go a long way, if for no other reason than because guys just don’t do these things any more. In many ways, I don’t blame them. I think a lot of guys are just too afraid that women won’t like it — but that’s why women do like it! It’s rare that men do these things for them.
And it’s ESPECIALLY rare for men to do it in a way that shows they aren’t trying to achieve something when they open a door, give a woman a hard time and flash a sly grin at the same time.
Just don’t start hovering over women expecting some kind of reward for doing something nice for them. In fact, it should be clear that you’re NOT actually doing it just for them — it’s simply a part of your nature… part of your belief about what a man should do.
Subtlety makes a world of difference between being a suck-up and being a player with some manners.