One of the great things about being a guy is the ability to stay active on the singles scene for a lot longer than women without having to face the reality of declining results. But the further you get away from your college years the more you face reality on the dating scene. One of those realities is that there will be plenty of times when that hot chick who gave you her number has a kid or two sitting back at the pad waiting for her to come home… preferably alone.
And, hey, moms can be hot too, so we’re certainly not hating. But there are some big reality checks that come with taking out some baby’s momma, so let’s look at 4 tips for keeping your game in check.
1. They Have More on Their Plate
Like it or not, the first reality check you need to get down when taking out a single mom is that she has way more on her plate than you do. Being only human, there is a good chance you’re just looking to get some nookie. Even if you’re not, you’re riding on the confidence that you can just pick up your chips and roll on if things don’t work out.
A single mom has a lot more to worry about. So if she starts to like you even a little bit, things can get serious quick. Women are often not as good as keeping emotions out of things as they like to pretend, and that goes double when they’ve got other people counting on them.
And to go further, a mom just has a lot more responsibility. She can’t just run over to your place on a whim, stay out a night drinking, or head out of town for the weekend because she just wants a break. For a single parent, life is always somewhat more complicated than yours.
2. Dad Will Always Be Part of the Scenario
In most cases, and I wish I could say all, there will be a dad floating around somewhere when you’re dating a single mom. And if you are getting serious about this woman, that can mean a real extra dose of drama in your relationship. Stop for a second and think about how you felt about your girlfriend’s exes in the past. Now imagine for a second an ex that’s not going to go away for the next 18 years.
Welcome to reality.
3. Her Child Is (Or Should Be) More Important Than You
You’re always going to be second in a woman’s life if she has children, and is that so wrong? The child is her flesh and blood, and you came along afterward. And since you’re not the father, you don’t even have that to back you up in the “this is my house” department.
Now, I’m not trying to discourage you because it’s certainly possible to forge a relationship with your lady and her children that works, but do realize you have a rough road ahead. If having dates canceled because the kid is sick or something bothers you, you haven’t seen anything yet.
4. You Are Only Human/ She Is Only Human
Hell, we are only human and we can’t help the irrational thoughts that hit our brain. Every guy in a serious relationship has a completely irrational thought that he wishes his woman had been a virgin when they got together. By the same token, you will secretly resent her for not waiting to have children, especially if she had a kid with some total deadbeat.
You’re only human for thinking these things, even if it’s completely unfair.
But she’s only human too. And whether she made a mistake when she had her child or didn’t make a mistake at all, part of you being her man is coming to terms with the fact that she is a human being with her own past. In short, if you choose to be with her, get over it.
Those are just a few tips that can help you pull it together when dating single moms, and trust me, there are plenty of hot ones out there. Just keep things realistic and remember that honesty is the best policy. If you want to be a playboy, single moms might not be your best target. And the least you can do is get the real deal out on the table from the get-go.